Caregiving Resources

Take care of the caregiver, too

Caregiving can be rewarding work, it can be loving work - but it's work. Often hard work.

While it's crucially important to take care of the caregiver, it can be really difficult to include oneself into the caregiving equation. When focused on another person's needs, caregivers can lose sleep, not have enough time to eat or exercise or de-stress or pay attention to their own needs -- so it's no surprise that caregivers are often depressed, perhaps and even chronically ill themselves.

The good news is that help is available from many different sources. The following are good places to start.

Respite Care - Taking a Break

Caregiver Stress - When Things Get Too Hard or Overwhelming

If caregiver stress becomes too much it can lead to depression, and to serious problems for both caregiver and the person they care for. But it can be difficult to recognize depression in the push to accomplish day-to-day tasks. Asking yourself the questions from this video can help.

What are the signs of depression? How to find support for depression, and how to pay for it? These links offer information and resources to help.

Support groups can be a huge help. These links offer tips on finding a support group that meets your needs - or if you can't find one, advice on how to start a support group.

We are right to be very concerned with elder abuse, but sometimes it's the person being cared for who is abusive. Aggressive, even violent behavior can be a symptom of a disease (in dementias or Parkinson's, for example). More rarely, that could be a medication side effect. More often, though, it is a legacy of past family patterns -- and those can be very had to break!

Here are some strategies to help cope with those situations: 

Caregiver Finances and Time

Caregiving can be expensive. One 2017 study estimates on average family caregivers spend $7,000. out of pocket each year.  Lost wages if a caregiver has to cut back or quit work have the potential to be much more costly over time; other long-term issues are lost retirement, having to pay a higher price for the caregiver's own health insurance when not employed, etc. Caregiving also costs time, leaving less available for other commitments. Here's some advice on how to lessen those burdens, and protect family caregivers' finances:

When a caregiver has to cut back on employment (or quit working outside of the home), that has a financial impact in the moment and also into their future. Look to these websites for useful information:

The Family and Medical Leave Act was intended to give some protections for employment when we need to take time to care for ourselves or others; however, this has a time limit. For more details, see:

For those who care for multiple generations - perhaps children as well as aging parents - the challenges multiply. There are many sources for advice on coping while in the sandwich generation. Here are some useful examples to start. (And please do look at resources for respite care!)

LGBTQ+ Care Partners

With sometimes-fractured relationships with birth family, and lack of legal recognition for same-sex marriages in the past, many LGBTQ+ caregivers face additional challenges. Like the narrator in this short video, we might be surprised to find ourselves caring for someone else - but with help, can step up to do what's needed.